Happy New 2022, blah blah blah!

As many know, Jen and I spent the second half of 2021 fully engaged in a total transformation of our grounds and recapturing a game room by converting the garage. We literally no sooner had the last landscaper leave as we had kids show up for Christmas week. Whew, and what a week it was. The pool was a hit, the game room and firepit a treat, and the grounds stunning for our visitors. But with ten adults and seven grandkids here, OMG the chaos was incredible. But now they are all gone and it is just Jen and I again with our sidekick Lucy. Ever hear the term silence is deafening? Neither of us feels like doing anything and I guess that is just fine. We are slowly finding things to do although there is a list a mile long if we cared to look. I finally got around to changing my website name to Opinions Mumbled. The Under My Breathe thing was an experiment gone wrong in name only. I have moved all the content over and edited to match the new name. This wasn’t an easy task mind you, filled with much frustration, and in the end, like so many situations in life, I finally found a person I could understand and apparently, she could understand what I wanted. This was a chore because I don’t speak geek-ease and the rhythmic speaking lady I had the first three days and eight phone calls later, I about gave up; but in the end, it was a few simple keystrokes and magic was done. I have what I wanted!! But now what to do? I went down to help Dad put in a new blend actuator for his car, or tried at least. YouTube is so helpful often, but then can be frustrating at other times. Three simple screws to remove and then three more on the actuator, reverse the steps and done. Yeah right!! They failed to mention it requires hands half the size of mine, the flexibility of a circus contortionist, and the dexterity of a twenty-year-old. None of which I possess!

I have been waking every morning nursing the cold I got from one of the grandkids I’m sure, finding my coffee bitter, the crosswords hard, sudoku a bust, and for the lack of a better term, feeling the blahs all day. I asked Jen this morning to only let me enjoy my uselessness a couple more days. Come Sunday, I must start back in being busy as a beaver and filling my days with this and that and whatever’s.  Yesterday, while waiting impatiently on the web hosting people to make me feel more stupid than the day before, I began running through the numbers on the 2021 taxes. Argh!!! WTF, another year of paying through the nose in April. I finally broke down and followed the logic of the tax experts and increased the amount of tax we will be paying throughout the year. I thought maybe we would pay less in retirement, but I also thought we’d make less money than when we were working. So far, all of my plans have turned out to be myths and the reality is finally setting in after three years of thinking it would change. I thought if I would avoid working either for myself or, dare I say, for someone else, hell no and yuck, that tasted bad even writing it, much less saying it, that maybe I could find myself positively in doing nothing. I guess not, I need something to do and even more so, feeling useful in the pursuit of independence and the glory of self-righteousness. That’s right, I want to feel good about myself and do something on my own for myself. I have no friggin’ idea what that all meant, I apologize, you are probably more lost than I am at this point.

I’m thinking about taking this writing thing to another level. I want to comment more on the tough stuff. I don’t want to worry what others might say, and go ahead and offend those that don’t agree. I certainly seemed capable of doing that over Christmas with my own kids. I feel sorry for the younger generations. Probably just like generations before thought about me as I would speak my ideologies around them. All I can say is that in time and certainly with age, there is a simple understanding of the hopelessness there is for change in the world. The realization makes older people cynical and come across as brash and decisive that the world is just on a collision course to the end. We recently watched the movie “Don’t Look Up”, and in watching it I thought how well they captured the ironies of the day. The disbelief, the certain skepticism, and even the rich leaving the planet just in time to race to another earthlike planet only to be eaten by a creature there. I feel like the comet is hurling through space destined to hit this planet and destroy all that exists and putting into some perspective how insignificant the politics and climate control just might be. But then again, we may ruin it all ourselves just like we seem to be headed now. Anyway, I apologize to my kids I might have offended during Christmas. I may be a bag of wind and not worth listening too. I certainly don’t have any intentions to save the world by myself. I do know this, worry and wonder will not do it either, action and a huge following with money is about the only way to change anything these days. Then again, getting involved to make yourself feel better is ok, just be real about it too and know there aren’t many that will follow.

The new year is here, I haven’t made any resolutions, but have a few observations. I think parents should take the time to teach their kids to shut the fuck up if they have nothing good to say about someone. I’m guilty too, but I get tired of smiling over when some kid says something to me offensive when I should be yelling at the parent to get engaged. I’ll continue to reduce my use of plastic to save the world and use more glass even though my recycler doesn’t recycle glass. I’ll try to reduce my carbon footprint when and where it is convenient. If someone wants to give me an electric vehicle, I’d love it, but I won’t buy one for myself to show I care about the planet enough to go through the hassle of trying to drive 1500 miles hoping there are charging stations along the way. I’ll continue to cut my hair even though I’d rather let it grow, this only for the sake of not looking like a Howard Hughes. I will work hard not to offend others even as I only want to shout how fucking stupid they are. I will try to be more affectionate to those that I should be more affectionate too. I will continue to not care about others anymore than they care about me. I do like the phrase do unto others as they would do unto you. I’d like to lose some weight, but the reality after sixty-one years is that it probably isn’t going to happen. I’ll try to listen to my dentist and not question with logic when they tell me to do something that is so obvious as lining their pockets with my money. Same for the doc. And through all my cynical approach on life, I do want to be a better person. At least to the obvious ones I love and cherish. Everyone else that expects me to do for them that which they wouldn’t do for me…. well, fuck you. But I won’t expect anything out of you either. Have a great New Year. I hope Trump falls into sand trap and never comes back. I’m definitely tired of hearing about that stupid SOB. I believe in miracles; I just have never really seen one. I have hope for better things to come; just don’t know where it will come from. I will try to treat all with respect and dignity; even though the inequalities are not desired to get to some equal spot, but instead to put me in some place lower than those feeling oppressed. I will love more; at least those that deserve to be loved more. And last, I will work to have a better frame of life and see the world through rose colored glasses; but only after I have sipped enough bourbon to put me in the right frame of mind. Cheers to 2022! God only knows if it will be better than the last two years, but he also knows there isn’t any place to go but up!!