Work Ethic, Do You Have It?

I’ve been thinking a lot about ethics. I watch daily the catastrophe in politics both Nationally and Statewide. I’m so disappointed in the lack of ethics by those that are supposed to be the ones setting examples. These are also many of the people deciding what the quality of life will be for many under privileged. I also am disappointed by some nearer to me and their focus of cheating the system for benefit and their failure to own themselves and blame others for anything inconvenient in their life and under my breath I mumble opinions of worth about those lacking character and ethics. I’ve been thinking about the Chapter in my book addressing my feeling towards work, ethics, belief, and God or religious belief. Most of my thinking keeps coming back to this chapter that I lived by working, but also in retirement. I thought that maybe if I just shared it with others, then I could get it out of my thought and move on to write around other topics. So, here it is. I know it is longer than most of my blogs, but I feel it is important.

Chapter Eight (From My Book)

Work, Ethics, Belief, and God

I have always loved to work. My real first paying job was as a kid mowing lawns. I don’t remember how much I got paid but I do remember pulling Dad’s mower behind me on my bike. I didn’t do it long but was my first taste at working and being paid for doing so. I did make some nickels and dimes from selling horny toads and also for the torture of red ants with a magnifying glass, but I quickly learned I didn’t like the art of the sell and more discovered it was easier for me to have some measurable tasks for pay in accounting for myself. I could sell someone on a point that I believed in but couldn’t get behind something merely because it was there to profit from.

There are all kinds of good reasons why I went to work from the obvious need of a monetary source of income to the ability to display what I could do well. Almost like it was some kind of art form. Outside of my teenage years of work, I found my true abilities lied in fixing something that was broke. This truly could be something physically wrong with a piece of equipment or software but could also be something to do with someone I worked with or who worked for me. I love resolving things, pretty simple but that is what really drives me, knowing I could resolve something. I don’t believe I had a gift of doing something that no one else could, there are plenty of people that resolve things daily, I’m just saying it is what made me click when working.

Following my days of horny toad wrangling and landscaping work, I had a good number of years where I was a total freeloader off of my parents. We all go through it; you know that feeling of carefree do-what-you-want lifestyle where your true needs in life were met by someone else. Namely parents, or at least parents that cared for us and wanted the best for us. Obviously not everyone is given this luxury and then there are those that never got over it, the provider just changed and later they become a burden on society in their expectation that it was everyone else’s responsibility to make sure they were taken care of. Ok, that brings me to a point that probably shows my hand somewhat politically, but I don’t necessarily feel all social welfare related programs are good or altruistic. Certainly, I recognize that people get down on their luck sometimes and they need a helping hand up in life, they grasp it and move on to success on their own, no I’m talking about the welfare babies that actually expend so much more energy in not working to have you and I pay for the things in their life. Then they teach this cancerous ideology to their offspring never allowing this country to get out of the perpetual cycle of providing aide where it is not due but having a political system that condones it and adds to the problem annually in the refunding of these good but abused social programs. We as a society have created this life for some and we constantly say it is ok by funding these programs or not monitoring them to ensure it is really going to those that truly need it when what is needed is a better qualifier method and follow-up program to ensure that folks are truly moving towards the end goal of getting off the welfare aide. Again, I have no problem with helping someone up, in fact there may not be anything more noble, but to throw money at a laziness problem holds no nobility on eithers part and continues to build disdain in society.

I believe in work, I love work, and want to always feel I earned everything I have. I want all of my children and children of children and so on to understand that work is what builds your independence and self-worth. I don’t care whether you make twenty-thousand a year or a million every month, do it for yourself and family and avoid building an entitlement child in the process. Brings another thought to mind too, again no matter the amount of money you make, pick something you love and make it yours. But in the process, if you do make a lot of money never be above others. Never make others feel less than you are and in fact use your success to uplift others. If you don’t make a lot of money, do something you love and if you don’t love it find something you do. Never and I mean never blame anyone else for anything you are responsible for. We all chose our paths in life and as long as we remain honorable in what we do and how we live our lives then we are a success. And if someone tries to make you feel anything other than that then they are an idiot and we simply bow to their stupidity and move on. Their opinion doesn’t count, in fact no one’s opinion counts. Be strong enough to be self-assured in life and about yourself. I know sometimes that it feels easier said than done, but I always want you to know you have the power to make a difference.

It boils down to belief in one’s self. Who better is out there to believe in you than yourself? If you don’t, who else will? Ok, I will, I always will believe in my family. But seriously, doubt is a cancer and it will grow and roadblock your life. Not to say if you are going into some unknown sport, job, relationship, etc., we are all going to experience doubt. But allowing that doubt to consume you and actually limit your ability is nothing but a recipe for unhappiness. Change how you think of the word doubt, for instance, I doubt there is anything I can’t do. Isn’t that something in life we all need? Positively twisting everything is a great ability and so few people actually have the capability to do it. So many people are looking for acceptance or looking for acknowledgement from someone else. Unless you are at the top of a company, you will work for someone else and someone will judge how you perform. In all relationships we want our partners nod of good faith. Take it for what it is though, it is merely someone else’s subjective opinion, it doesn’t really matter because you should already know how you are doing. If you fear that you are going to hear something negative from a boss, I guarantee you that you already know why, and it should lie with you to make a change in whatever that is. I have never liked complacent people, and luckily, I never really had anyone work for me that was an underperformer. OK, that’s not entirely true, I did have a couple of guys that worked for me in the Air Force that were not motivated for themselves. I also was not motivated in helping them succeed and is why they were not allowed to re-enlist as this country deserved more than someone that would fall asleep while I was training them or fried a piece of equipment because they wouldn’t listen to how to operate it. But I hope it was a wakeup call for them too as they were forced out of the military. I do hope that, but what I suspect they went home and blamed everything on me and the military for their inability to just try.

 I have always tried to do good. Even when I was hard on someone or made a decision that might adversely affect them, I always felt I was doing the good thing and hopefully changing a situation for the good of all. My hope was always for others to account for themselves and I hope I did too. But, for those that are in situations that were hard positions in life to be in, I hope that I have reached out to better their situation. It is my thought that this can be touchy, and something not always welcomed. I do believe we can provide unsolicited things in life. I think I mentioned this before that one of my own pet peeves is for someone to offer me unsolicited advice or tell me how they think something should be done, thought, or believed in. Honestly, who made them the authority person on anything? If I do ask for advice or an opinion, I will listen intently and ask questions for clarification. I do try to avoid refuting what they are saying or believe. I asked and they shared, thank them and move forward either using their thought or not. I don’t need to make sure they know whether I will or won’t. I didn’t ask them to put them in a position of me judging them. Not cool and I would absolutely hate it if someone did it to me. It gets back to the island person I am. If someone asked my thought and then argued with why they thought I was wrong, I would simply remove them from my island and certainly never respond to any future request from them.

Have ethics in life, work, love and respect your goodness. Below are the laws of life I’ve tried to live. I put much thought into it, maybe even too much thought, but I wanted to make sure I shared everything I thought around this. These laws per se, are what have allowed me to sleep good at night. When I have been restless or troubled in thought, it is usually because I have strayed. I don’t think anyone should take my ethics as the gospel from the ethics bible, but I do think they could stimulate further thought to generate your own. Not everyone needs twenty-three identified items either. Someone else might have only one or might have a hundred. It really doesn’t matter as long it becomes a guideline.

The Laws of Me……My Ethics

1. Never chase what is across the fence………never compete for what someone else has. You want to be broke, in debt, never be able to retire or not have anything to show for your life? Then have envy for your friends and neighbors. It is an avenue to unhappiness.
2. Live your life………if you want to look at other people’s lives for success, then see what doesn’t work for them not what does and merely avoid the mistakes. Success comes with a measure of the old “I did it myself” mentality. Never borrow success, create it instead.
3. Take a risk on yourself………this doesn’t mean risk everything, although that may be just what you must do. It simply means to take a gamble on your ideas, your twist on it, and trust in your desire to stand the world on its ears with every notion.
4. Be ingenious……never let your mind stop creating and finding solutions for that which seems impossible. Never worry that someone else must have already done it, immediately act on your thoughts or at least approach it again in the very near future. Find solutions, find your creativity, sometimes you might have to look at things upside down or backwards to find the answer.
5. See the world differently………if you can’t envision things differently than everyone else, then you’ve given up on finding your solution to life. Create a different set of normal for everything that matters.
6. Find your passion………once you find what you’re passionate about, put into action how you make it a career. Work is just that, a toil on life, a burden to unhappiness. When you’re passionate about what you do day to day, then it is never work, but you can make it your life’s work.
7. Don’t chase the money……. you’ll never catch it and there will never be enough if you do. When you have the things, those you desire versus things you need, what you’ll feel is an ounce of regret. Money obviously buys a simple life but doesn’t insure a happy one. Obviously, it is easier with it than without it, but money should come as a result of following your heart and passion and with the drive to enjoy who you are, not be driven to show what you have.
8. Never be complacent……. if you sit back and say that is enough, you’ll find a fast train to nowhere. Always move forward with life, never look back for any reason other than to fondly reminisce. Always be looking for solutions in everything.
9. If you need a measure…… then look no further than your spouse, your children, or your loved ones. It only matters what they think. We all go through performance reviews and things like it in the workplace, take it with a grain of salt. Never try to live to their standards but establish your own on a higher level of worth and strive to accomplish those merits. Theirs will be simple to meet then.
10. Give to others…… always be compassionate for others. Never feel sorry for them, nobody wants pity, they want a solution to the roadblock in front of them. Help to break through the barrier with them. Share in their joy and your reward will come from places you least expect. Don’t do it because you want something in return, do it because you want something for others in return.
11. Never miss a chance to say I love you…… it is the one thing in life that we can never say enough or hear enough. Say it often, mean it every time, and believe in the power of it. It is the most meaningful three words in any language.
12. Believe in a higher being………whether it is God, Buddha, Muhammad, or the cactus in the window that gives you peace and faith in something, believe! Live to be good, treat others with the thought that maybe it is all real. It is okay to question; it is not okay to belittle because someone believes in the intangible. Everything in life is an intangible until you make it a reality. Respect the power of believing.
13. Never resent others for their reward…… everyone is trying to make the world the best for themselves. If you focus on yourself and all that is possible for yourself, then you never have to look beyond you for results. What happens for others really doesn’t matter, if something doesn’t happen the way you wanted, then either you didn’t really put forth the effort or it was the wrong thing to do. We are our only obstacle. Backing out of something isn’t necessarily failure, failure surely will come from sticking with the impossible.
14. Never fail to acknowledge……. always acknowledge others for their accomplishments. Ok to let them inspire you, but not ok to envy (the second time I said this because it is important). By acknowledging someone else, you build a network of possible support when needed.  Most importantly, praise those you love and not criticize their choices just because they are different than yours but be positively critical when you’re asked for advice.
15. If required, be critical, don’t blame……. there are times as you rise through your employment or life that you may need to be critical. Always try to be positive, and only pick one thing at a time to help them improve. In a review process, there may be more to address, but stick to the one at a time. In work, allow one chance to improve then remove as the effort or capability is not there. You can’t blame others for unsuccessful results. It is up to you to create success.  In family, allow a lifetime of tolerance, support, and love. Be stern when needed, but never stop believing in them.
16. Don’t be cynical or pessimistic……. This is an easy result to an often-complicated problem. Life is not always going to go your way. Sometimes, there may be a series of events that weigh heavy on your outlook or feeling about yourself. Being cynical or pessimistic about it, shrugging off how you feel, giving in to the moment are all traps easily fallen into. As crazy as it sounds, look into a mirror and talk aloud to the face staring back at you with the puzzled look. Whatever you choose to say to bring yourself around to a better understanding of the circumstances then start talking about it. May seem crazy to talk to yourself, I think it is grossly crazier to bottle it up, blame life on someone else, and harbor that negativity in you. It is like a cancer.
17. Foundational thinking……. whether you have kids or not, with a family as big as ours, you have plenty to invest in for the future. We may not have started life together, but we have the opportunity to build a family foundation together stronger than any we have ever seen. We have such a support mechanism in place to take advantage of, would be a shame for us all not to use it. Encourage each other to succeed, but be honest, does it do any of us any good to only hear what you want to hear? Listen, love, learn…. The one thing you can count on is that each of us has your best interest at heart.
18. Learn, work, teach……. I haven’t always believed in the power of education, I shrugged it as something simple and without much potential for being the catalyst in life. But along the way, I met someone, married her, and began to listen to someone else’s viewpoint about many subjects. My success came easy, things happened easily for me in my career. I always thought about how lucky I was for someone with just a high school education, but then it dawned on me, I had the education level amassed of a master’s degree. Realized that my good fortunes came through learning what I know with passion, working to be in the top 3% of those around me, and then someone said to me that I was a good teacher. Education and knowledge are power!
19. When the door opens…….and it will, don’t just walk through it, leap, run, climb, do whatever it takes to realize opportunity. Never look to rationalize the door shut, go ahead and jump. You know sometimes it may not have been the right decision, but that is the beauty of a door, you can pass through it in both directions. If it isn’t working, get out of there and who knows, what lies on the other side of door now may have changed enough that it holds the promise of your success.
20. Pass on what you know……. I know it may seem somewhat narcissistic of me to think anyone cares what I have to say, but my narcissism comes from one point……pride. I have it, I want to share it, and I hope for you to find your healthy narcissism as well. Face it, if you can’t go through life believing in yourself, believing in what you say, trusting that you are doing it right…. then you need to re-evaluate and work for a high level of faith in yourself. I certainly have faith in you, but more importantly, I have faith in myself.
21. Figure out who you are…… then do it on purpose. The hardest thing for any of us is truly figuring yourself out. Break it down to the simplest things. Does it make it you happy, keep doing it? Do you get inspired, keep doing it? Do you get self-worth, keep doing it? It is basic idea and the hardest thing you might do in life is to make yourself happy. But you are worth it, others will be inspired by it, and your happiness will be infectious.
22. Change history…. changing the course of anything is a remarkable thing. Make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons. Do this or anything to pacify your current emotional insecurities will haunt you, damage others, and cause regret. Changing the course of history for the right reasons is hard, not always in your best interest, but will always benefit mankind. And in the end, what better gift can you give.
23. The “ATE” System…. Create, Innovate, Educate, Activate, Motivate, Cultivate, Celebrate. But don’t overcomplicate, capitulate, misappropriate, hyperventilate, overcompensate. The idea and what most words ending in “ATE” seem to do is to have action. Action can be positive and negative and is up to you to formulate and dictate how you will “ATE”.

In life we have laws, rules, and guidelines we must live by. Some of these are established by our fellow man, our community, or governing bodies. I generally believe my laws of me will always allow me to live within any developed external thought towards me and allow me to excel in a world that sometimes seems to want to oppress us. In my working life, I was not always comfortable in what I was doing. I have said this before, but I always knew I had it in me to be the best and surpass my own expectations. In doing so, I knew I would always meet and exceed all criteria set down by my manager and organization I was working for.

The worst thing you can do for yourself is to go to work with the idea you are merely earning money to live on. Go to work to make a difference, be an example, and be the best that you can be. Not everyone will appreciate you doing this because there are those that have the unfortunate standard of just getting by. Most will be inspired by you, but there will be those few that resent you for being accomplished. Don’t fret over it and you did nothing wrong. Don’t get caught up in their bitterness, because hate can spread faster than a wildfire with a forty mile-an-hour wind behind. I always wanted to be the go-to guy. My dad was the same and in fact, I know of no one in our family that hasn’t risen to the top of the heap. I’m not talking about money here. He was the friggin poster child of Airways Facilities for the FAA. But he was never a manager at any level. However, the regard others held for him was immense and 20 years after he retired, I was still trying to live up to the standards he had created for all technicians in the FAA. People still ask me almost 25 years later how he is doing and tell me of the impact he had on them.

My grandfather, Leslie Jacob Wilson, never really had money. He was a small farmer, a bus driver, he raided bee hives to sell the honey, sold pulp wood to paper mills, was deeply religious and devout in his belief. And all I ever heard from anyone that knew him was how great of a man he was and how he enriched their lives. He was a family first man before it was popular to be one. He had everything he could dream of and was one of the happiest people I ever knew.

My other grandfather, Elvin Roseman Keels, had the same comments about him long after he was gone. He was an entrepreneur, owning a grocery store and bartering at times for land and mineral rights so that people could settle debts with him. He got his Master’s in Agricultural Education and not only was an Agriculture teacher, he was the Vice-Principal of the high school. He demanded excellence and people bent over backwards to accomplish it for him. He was very prideful in the fact that so many graduated and went on to fulfil vital roles in the communities.

I hope I’m a combination of the three influential men in my life. But make no mistake, my mother and grandmothers were a cut above others too. We all must have hero’s, I never had to look outside of my own family to find them. What you must do is not label success in the way the get-rich-quick guys do. Success is internalized and never for the benefit of appraisal from others. We all want to be well received by others, but never live your life trying to accomplish seeking the approval of others. You don’t need it! If you approve of yourself, you will be well accomplished.

I have mentioned several times about belief, God, religion, etc. It is important to me. It was never drummed into me and I gave my kids lots of room to make up their own minds about it. I do believe in God; I believe in the word of God written in the bible. I believe what I read is written in man’s hand but inspired by God. I pray daily and hope that he hears my prayers. I believe I have strong guardian angels around me always and they contact me and guide me through numerous ways, most obvious for me is through repetitive numbers. I believe in Angel Numbers in other words. The thing is, I’m not asking you to believe what I believe, but believe in something higher than yourself. Something or someone that gives you spiritual guidance of some kind.

My guiding forces in many ways have been work, ethics, belief and God. Find your force, own it, and live life on purpose.