Winding Up to Winding Down

Weird way of putting things, but it is how I feel. We are on the last leg of the landscape project and it is certainly winding down. I, on the other hand am winding up to the things that lie before me. I felt that after doing the largest project, both in scope and cost, that I would be relieved to see the end come. What I see though is all the projects lined up after that I’m largely committed to doing myself. I have accomplished one thing over the last six months and I now understand what a quitting time really means. When I worked and finished a day’s agenda, I merely went into the preparation for the next day. In many ways I never was really off as I lugged around a company phone, iPad, and laptop wherever I was. I was at the beckon call to the next level manager, who also never understood the meaning of going home and getting off work. I suppose that is the price that comes with climbing the ladder, not I really ever climbed any ladders to success, but I still was the right hand of those that had. In retirement, the goal was to certainly stay busy. I would never have retired if I thought I was going to sit around reading a book, sitting behind another computer to manage whatever it is that needs managing, or daydreaming throughout the day of the times I had purpose. No, I have purpose, and way too much to do. What I have dreams of is that what has kept me busy over the last few years is forever altered into a measured lifetime of doing what I want with purpose and to know when quitting time has arrived.

Not too long ago, my brother-in-law was between jobs and he made a comment to Dad and I that he didn’t know how we could stand not having anything to do every day. Dad and I looked at each other immediately as we both understood instantly that he had no idea what true retirement was like and that he couldn’t see purpose beyond working for someone and getting paid for it. I remember my dad saying many years ago, following his own retirement, that when he was working, he had the money but not the time and that in retirement, he had the time and not the money. I know he was joking because he is just like me, if he doesn’t have projects lined up for the next two years, then he feels he is idle and hates it. I also doubt my brother-in-law could keep up with me nor work as hard doing what it is I do. I can only surmise this as I have not had a chance to work side by side, but if taking three breaks to mow a residential front and back yard, well, I would have a hard time seeing him maintain all that is necessary in maintaining our own 2/3’s acre, also maintaining the other acre and a fourth that we own.

The landscaping project ends in two to three weeks. I have the guest house to floor, both bathrooms in the main house to remodel, remodel the kitchen area upstairs, divide the bathroom upstairs to gain more living space and consolidate the bathroom, build a garage, build two spec houses, and on the side help to maintain my dad’s house and property. Nope, there is no rest for the weary, and for the retired, there is a lifetime of projects to always be winding up for has each project is winding down. Jen is the same, and although she has her own projects, they are just as exhausting and come at a cost of her pain suffering and countless hours lost waking and thinking about a problem bothering her. Retirement is not for the faint of heart and if you just sit around and do nothing, I suspect your work is lazy work and your downtime is certainly filled with mindless activity like watching TV and surfing your phone.

I have a love/hate relationship with this all. It occasionally causes me to wonder under my breath as to whether I did the right thing or not. I often force myself to think of the one thing I am major joyed about in retirement and would certainly be a deal breaker if I ever did have a weak moment and went back to work and that is a schedule. And by a schedule, I mean someone telling me what time I need to be somewhere and when I need to get it done by. That is the deal breaker every time and I hope it will remain as such. As I’m winding down on this article, I’m winding up to thinking about what is next to come. That’s easy, look at the forty-something notes on my phone and the picture will become amazingly clear. I’ve retired to have time to work when I want, no boss telling me what to do, and all for no pay! A good trade? I think so!