The Art of Retirement
As the saying goes, “It ain’t easy being easy”. That explains retirement in a nutshell. It is why many struggle with it and return to work. Some can’t find self-identity in it and rush back to work. I’ve even heard said to me, “I don’t know how you can stand to sit around and do nothing”. Dad and I just looked at each other after that one and laughed heartily later. Frankly, something my dad said long ago referring to the amount of time in a day in that there wasn’t enough time in any day to get everything done since retiring. Jokingly I tell others that my motto is why do today what I can do tomorrow. Fact is, I usually don’t have enough time to finish everything, so I push it off to tomorrow. There is definitely an art to retiring and I have been perfecting it for years. I’m not anywhere near the master level, but am full on journeyman and an ardent learner of everything retirement.
The first couple of years following that official last day having given our resignation letter ending what was, hopefully, a well-loved and significant job, we generally find ourselves soul searching for an answer to the question, “Did I do the right thing?”. It takes a while to come to an answer. Some understand that it was exactly what they needed. A change of life and the freedom to become and do what you want without worrying about the affects on a shift schedule or some other work impact caused by your leaving and most importantly worrying about whether your boss is going to fuss at something you did. Don’t worry about that though, your spouse will make sure you have a performance critic around. You just don’t have time for the old worries of the job anymore. Others have a hard time cutting the tether and constantly stay in touch with old workmates or even take a contractor job so that they can stay near the pulse of what gave them an identity. Even still, some just made the decision for a change of work and go out and take on a new career that was a desire all along. For many, they just can’t get past the fear of the change in income or that they’ll have to converse with their spouse on a more regular basis and this can be difficult when most of your meaningful conversations in your life were with those you worked with. I was told by a person that they feared having to have a conversation with their wife. Apparently, he had forgot why he married his wife in the first place or that their marriage was really over a long time ago. Either way, the easy decision was to stay working and continue to avoid the predictable outcome down the road of life. Americans find identity through work. This seems to be a wholly American notion too. But think of retirement as your new job and eventually the identity will follow.
From the first day I had no doubt I did the right thing. I was elated and looked forward to the day of controlling when and what I did. I disabled the alarm function on the bedside clock and I started sleeping seven and eight hours a night. Amazing! My shift worker brethren out there will understand this one so well. I wanted to write a book. I’m still writing it and spends a few hours a month on it. I did lose the philosophical outlet though. That is why I started writing a blog as an outlet for my opinion. Along with it, I realized that I could retain a small level of smartass in the process and hopefully help with the memory bullshit that seems to be happening. Have you ever thought about something and clearly knew what you thought about something, only to open your mouth and become tongue-tied with a stammering that makes you sound like a complete idiot? Its right there on the tip of your tongue, just say what you mean and then you give up and someone else finishes your sentence for you. Writing is an expressive outlet and the more I do it, the better I get at it. Sudoku and crossword are my other memory skill exercises.
Appointments become more frequent and I refuse to travel during the times of commutes. My window is now nine to two. I don’t take openings that become available due to cancellations, nope, no quick on-the-spot decisions to be made ever again. I still wake early, but that is to watch political minded commentary as Jen finds it such a waste of her time and bordering on repulsive. I find it a form of comedy, especially since Trump entered the arena of politics. It was like having an Abbot and Costello “Who’s on First” daily routine. You were on pins and needles waiting to see what he was going to tweet from the morning constitution from the presidential outhouse. Biden has certainly returned America to boring no matter hard Morning Joe and the band of political complainers try to overplay Trump’s latest buffoonish stunt. It sets my day up for my morning coffee and conversation with my dad. Had I not retired, I never would have re-established my relationship with him.
I play pool when I want, shoot darts, watch a movie or read a book just because I want to and not because I carved out time for it. I swim and hot tub at my desire and don’t feel guilty when I get to do nothing for a whole day. Even when I have plenty to do, plenty of honey-do’s, Buddy-dos, and yards to mow. That rare no-guilt thing is cathartic and actually revitalizes my commitment to retirement and the art of doing it right! I want it to look effortless to the watchful eye, but productive to the prying eye. If they held an award show for retirement, I want to win the top award. I’m sure the trophy would look very much like the old laugh-in trophy called the “Flying Fickle Finger of Fate”. I would just change which finger the wings were attached too. I mumble a lot and share my flying finger to many and certainly to the establishment. All is irrelevant outside of my opinion and I have little time to hear what others have to say. I’m too busy man!! Busy doing nothing, but that is where the true art lies in that the art is making you believe I having to do outside of complaining. May you find your true artistic self, at least never stop looking for it.