Perfection Lives in the Little Moments That Can’t Be Sustained

This is a line from a show we were watching the other day. It kind of hung with me as I thought about its meaning and advice. Do we chase the feeling of perfection? Do we relive the moments through pictures? What about all those firsts in life; first step, first word, first smile, and any number of other moments that were certainly perfection? Maybe the moment and what it felt like for the first kiss and how many people keep chasing that feeling. Perfection? Maybe and maybe not, but certainly intoxicating. The vast numbers of those perfect moments over the many years we get to live, maybe not all of them being perfection, unless we are willing to add in the perfectly horrible moments as well. They certainly make up the well of memories that we look back on. Our very own perfect moments. Here are a few of mine.

I was about 10 or 11 and Dad took me fishing with Uncle Carrel and Papa (my grandfather). This in itself might not be perfect, but getting to listen to them talk about my dad and uncle growing up and watching them all have those belly laughs as story after story was told. My grandfather breaking out the harmonica for a break in the action of fishing. I was mesmerized as he played and sang. Indeed, a perfect moment in my life. As the sun came up, I realized I wasn’t tired and we had caught so many fish for the fish-fry to follow in the afternoon. I felt guilty for a long time thinking about how my cousins and sister had missed out on a perfect moment. But later I concluded they probably had their own great moment with mom, my aunts, and cousins. It was perfect!

I was 15 and I had a 10-speed bike that I loved. One of my friends dared me to ride down Hwy 9 from the Trough Road turn-off down the hill, across the Colorado River and then back up the hill taking the sharp turn by the sawmill. If you’ve ever been to Kremmling CO, coming in from the south, this might be visually understandable for the danger I was about to put myself in. I took off with my body as low in the bike as I could. I had a speedometer that was registering 60 MPH very quickly, my eyes watering, screaming at the top of my lungs, a smile from ear to ear, and in a flash there was the seam of the bridge. Now, bear in mind, my bike was a true 10-speed with the little skinny tires, so when I hit that seam, it jarred me to the core, my front tire shook violently, and in the next instant, the other end of the bridge and another seam. I rolled up the hill and pulled over to the side of the road. Oh my God, I survived. It was my perfect near death moment. You see, back then no one knew about helmets, pads, etc. No, we were only protected by sheer ignorance and a good insurance plan from mom and dad. I laughed so hard, checked my pants for any uncontrollable accidents, and said to my friend, ” Let’s go do that again!!”. It was perfect!

I was 23, in the military. The day was like any other until my wife came to the hospital and told me she was beginning labor. It went from a boring same-ole-day to instant adrenaline filled with joy and fear at the same instance. The next 6 hours were exhausting for me, I couldn’t imagine what it felt like for her, but in an instance, there is a head followed by a body, a slap, a cry, and tears of joy! A perfect moment on steroids! The shear joy that comes with having a child. I got to experience that perfection of creation two more times and eight more times as a grandparent. Each time I remember how bringing a child into this world has to be the most perfect of things any of us can ever experience. Getting to watch that same child give birth and watch them have that same moment of perfection gives you a sense of pride beyond imagine. Life is perfect!

I was 43, I had been divorced for 4 years and spent that time picking of the pieces of my life. A life that had falling apart. Numerous moments of failed attempts to find love again. Confidence waning severely. Lots of questions of why, when, where, how, etc. of will I find the moment of love, a skip in my heart. I was beginning to believe I might be alone for a long time. But as things tend to happen, just as you’re convincing yourself that it will be ok that you don’t have someone in your life, when you least expect it, someone steps in front of you and the perfection of the heart floods back into your life. We are lucky to find this once, but to have it occur twice is a gift beyond imagine and certainly one that you could question being worthy of. Because of this moment, I have tried harder to be a good husband and father. I’m not perfect, but the moment she said “I do”, perfection was there, in my life again.

I’m 61, and for the last 3 years I’ve been living a perfect morning everyday we are home. The perfection of having the chance to more or less interview your dad and discover so many things you never knew. It’s the closest moment of a recurring perfect moment I could ever have, but even this will end someday. I’ve worked with my dad for many years, been friends for many years, lived under his roof for many years, and there was never a moment that I didn’t want to be like him. Just a single trait that I know was him channeling through me, that is a moment I’d love to feel. I did have the opportunity to express myself in a way that he also knew what he meant to me. My dad was chosen to represent the FAA Airways Facilities through a national magazine ad sponsored by Martin Marietta because of the relationship of the federal government and the partnership with the FAA in particular. My dad, the poster boy for the national campaign. He hated having to do it, but he came to honor the impact he had on so many following it. I even submitted a request for my dad to be honored with a PR award designed for him. They have never done it sense. My mom loved it and was very emotional when she had the opportunity to read how perfect my dad was in my eyes. Let’s face it, my entire adult life as been one inspired by him and a highway of pursuit for me to travel. He is perfect to me!

Perfection is a fleeting moment that we try to recreate for ever. We find that there is no instance of sustainability in those brief moments. But, we have the memory of perfection, we have that burning need to fill it again, and again, and yet again. One of the joys of writing is being able to capture that feeling, but it is still just a moment in tribute to perfect times in our lives. We relive it by reading those words again at times that we need a moment of perfection. Ever on the lookout, but always a surprise, we never get to choose the moment, but we can choose to experience it and to relish in the majesty of perfection. What is just around the corner? Who knows, but I know there will be another moment; a moment that will become that unsustainable moment of perfection. Then, I will try to relive it over and over again until another perfect moment is met. I’m not perfect, but I appreciate my ability to be aware when it happens and capture the image in my mind and be aware of the feeling in my soul that perfection brings.