Patience

Or the lack of. I don’t seem to have as much as I used too. I was much better at dividing the smaller things from the bigger things and as the old saying goes, don’t sweat the little stuff. Except, these days I seem to sweat small, large, inconsequential, or consequential. I fret and worry about things like I used to laugh at older people in my life. I’m still good at not offering my opinion unless goaded or asked for it. Even then, I feel like I need to throttle my response and limit my expansiveness in detail. Put something like waiting on the response for a mortgage, I wonder what the heck are they doing? The most recent being a refi of a loan they already hold and in refinancing it, they’ll make a lot more money and yet they show concern, seem unoptimistic of my qualifications and with every question asked, they seem to indicate they don’t really want to give me more money and in turn, don’t want to make the interest and extend the loan beyond what I would consider my life expectancy. Maybe that’s it, they wonder who is going to pay them off if I don’t make it to the end of the loan period. None-the-less, I don’t have the patience needed to wait and now I’m sitting here on a Tuesday holiday knowing nothing will happen until at least tomorrow. We got ourselves into a situation where the dominoes need to fall in the right direction and at the right time, a four-house deal in the end. So yeah, I’m getting a little frazzled and wish I was more in control of things. I suppose that’s it, I don’t have any control of the situation, well for the first phase anyway. But that first phase is the link pin to everything happening the way we want it too.

When I used to work, I was in control of some pretty complicated activities. It was my decisions that controlled outcomes and I knew going into every situation that the outcome was hinged on me, and I knew without worry, the result would be exactly as I expected. Then I retired and I haven’t felt in control of very much since. I feel I haplessly bound from one day to the next, never really accomplishing much anymore. Maybe boredom is creeping into my life, and I need to find some outlet truly responsible to only my best effort and the outcome derived from the amount of attention I give it. That’s why I’ve been thinking lately about finding something to occupy my mind and create something that is me, mine, and only I. We are trying to build a business around real estate, and it makes sense to get a real estate license. The more I look into it, the more I like the idea of it, but then I remembered I have a earnings test with social security. For two more years, I have to somehow control any wages earned. I’ve thought this to be a pretty dumb idea given all the other allowances the federal government allows like an ex-wife who married after you divorced her and then got divorced again, and guess what, she is entitled to receive money against what I earned over the years. And the government complains about having to supplement the pot of money needed to pay those entitled. If they just kept it to paying only those entitled by paying into it, should get anything back. It takes six or seven people paying into social security to pay me, how many more does it take to pay those leaching off my earnings? Digressing seems to be my finest mode these days, and I’ve done it again.

Is there a way to shelter income from social security?  Probably not legally, but it will give me something to research. I’m sure if there is a way, someone has figured it out and posted it on the ole interweb. I suppose if I was thinking clearly about things, it shouldn’t matter the amount of money I make, because if I make more money than the two combined, then so be it. But I have to make the first step and actually complete the education requirements. One step at a time and thinking about it, by the time I was to complete it, find a broker to work under, and then establish enough clients to actually make the money enough to worry about, I’d probably be at my eligible age of making whatever I want without an earnings test.

I’m not going to rich writing for a living, so I might as well find something entertaining enough to exercise my brain. Do I have the patience to follow a plan over a few years when I’m so impatient about the first step happening? I don’t know, I just want a phone call to tell me everything is good and we’re moving forward. But hurry up already, my patience is running thin.