Once Upon a Time…

Once upon a time there was younger me. I was able to run, jump, roll and spring up, lift large items, crawl, etc. without a thought other than doing it. These days, I groan, crack, pop, hurt, get cramps, have lost range of motion, getting lung scans every year, keep my pain pills close, and take a hand full of vitamins, supplements and prescriptions twice a day. My mind doesn’t understand because it is still thirtyish. There are parts of my body that are still thirtyish, but they basically haven’t been used throughout life. Other parts are ninety, and some have just worn out and have been replaced with metal. I’ve gained weight, I sleep with a machine pumping air into my lungs, and pee two to three times a night. I get up early and go to bed, well early. I take fiber for regularity and regularly race to the privy. Everything worked as it should before, but today I work for three-hour spurts and rest. I search for words when telling stories and the more excited I am about telling something, the worse the English language eludes me. Where did my once-upon-a-time-self go?

Amazingly though, with how I feel, I still pop up and help Dad. I have flashes of my old self and at times, even without much thought of whether I’m going to hurt myself or not. I’ve gotten better about knowing what I can and can’t do and my ego has settled into a variation that is equally pumped up by a good decision as it used to be about an accomplishment. Fortunately, I haven’t gotten into something that I have to stop and say I just can’t do it and I have to find somebody to finish it for me. On the other hand, I’m having to admit more and more that I shouldn’t even try some things and instead make a nuisance out of myself by watching closely as others do what I wouldn’t have given two seconds of thought about years ago.

I have found things I like to do that provide me with stimulating thought and I would like to do daily. I love to tell a good story or work my thoughts of the day out on paper. I rebuilt a table that Jen uses as a desk and I have many other restoration projects lined up. Maybe, once the garage and shop are finished, I’ll be able to start retirement ideology that I used to think about and concluded before retiring would be my daily routine. I’ve started a long-time desire to write a book series. It is a children’s book series that has an educational element to it and covers a topic pretty clearly, but with humor and a message in a short twenty pages or less. If I could illustrate, I would be moving through them faster, but as time is more on my hands, I’m sure I’ll get to writing regularly and will find someone that can illustrate for me.

One of the things I miss is riding my bike. I’ve always enjoyed riding a bike and I have a great one now. As things settle into more routine, maybe Jen and I can resume riding and I, hopefully, will use as a catalyst for improving my health. We even have a kid runner that goes behind for Lucy to enjoy the ride we take. We also have a pool and hot tub that need to be used daily if for no other reason, it will improve my outlook on a lot of things.

I wonder if twenty years down the road I’ll be wishing I could do the things I did at sixty-one? Probably, but I hope to still be plugging along getting things done and at least keeping my mind sharp and telling my story and sharing my thoughts. If life is just, Jen and I will be living arm in arm and sharing the adventures our family will bring. We will have grandchildren older than when either of us first got married. Who knows what life will bring us, I just hope we are doing it together. We’ll think, once-upon-a-time…