Lazing Away A Day

Most days, I don’t find the time to truly kickback and relax. Every morning I promise myself that I will set aside time to read, but my reading usually consists of snippets of news information from either investment sites or from emails from the local news rag. I spend about 5 minutes everyday looking at the newspaper and half of that time is looking for the crossword. I do find time every morning to do the crossword, so I guess that is some success. Today, however, I find myself enjoying a Sunday the way a Sunday should be enjoyed. I mowed the yard, cleaned leaves out of the pond, watched the waterfall for a while and then went inside to shower and watch some football. I’m caring for Jen again following her second shoulder surgery, but am thankful today she is mostly sleeping and giving everything a good rest. Why can’t everyday be this way? I’m retired, isn’t every day supposed to be like this? Under my breath I cuss myself for having so many things lined up to do, even though I know those tasks are to keep me busy and purposeful. But, what I really long for is a routine oriented day to day schedule of ease and lack of need.

I’ve gotten into watching birds since moving to Texas. A hobby I could really get my interests around. It would combine my love of taking pictures with the wonderment of watching birds in flight and how effortless it all seems for them. I imagine this is what the first guy was doing when it popped into his head about how man could fly. We’ve all seen those old movie reels of planes taking off and folding in half or the man with wings attached to his arms jumping of the roof with barely enough time to get a half flap in before smacking ground and realizing he might should have gone into the study of mass versus gravity. Afterall, he has firsthand knowledge of the effect.

We have a nesting pair of hoot owls; I call them that because I haven’t actually laid my eyes on them, but that is what they say to me when I come outside in the night. I have just heard them, as they stay out of sight. One night, out of the corner of my eye I did the catch the movement of one of these silent prowlers as he or she swooped me while passing through my yard. After a few explicative comments, I laughed and thought about how cool it was that they can fly so silently. Does my owl have a sense of humor in scaring me or is it near sighted and needed a closer look to size me up for dinner? I’ve heard that hearing a hoot from an owl is a bad omen. This thought born from pagan ritual notions that someone will die soon. Hope that isn’t true, all I know is that it is very cool and somewhat chilling to walk out at night and hear a pair communicating about the meal possibilities that just walk outside, that being either me or Lucy, the wonder sidekick.

I moved our hammock chair around near the waterfall thinking it would be wonderful to hang and swing around while listening to the soothing sounds of water falling to rock and water. A book on my chest because although it would be great to read immersed in the nature of nature, I also live with a lack of sleep and still can fall asleep at any instance. Must be holdovers from midshaft days when I took advantage of any five-minute period for a power nap. None the less, the idea of spending a few hours swinging around in the breeze, in and out of conscience, is a magical notion that nothing else is going on the world noteworthy of my attention. No yardwork to accomplish, no garage to rearrange, no housecleaning, dog duty, or any of the other hundred things we seem to find important throughout a day. I just want to go blank for one day, maybe two if I could be so lucky.

Two of the project elements getting accomplished over the next few months is a back yard that we can sit, swim, cook, and enjoy along with having my pool table once again assembled and even if no one is around to play, I can still play around calculating angles and the effects of speed on mass and the controllability of it.  My twenty-five-year-old leather recliners holding me like a old friend while I sip a good beer or a glass of Kentucky’s finest. A morning swim, every day, to ensure I remain healthy in my new found lifestyle of my dreams. Finish off a day soaking in the hot tub with Jen sharing thoughts of the day, news of the kids and grandkids, plans for future trips and discovery. These two projects not designed to showcase our house to the neighbors, although we do enjoy the approval we are receiving, no, these are projects for our inner mind and soul. A design on what we see life should be in retirement and the difference of wishing we had at eighty versus so glad we did in our sixties. One thing is so sure in life, if you put things off, they will not be enjoyed and you will continue to toil over what you think you need in comparison to what you actually need, which is peace of mind.

Jen and I are making a commitment to enjoy the fruits of our labor and good fortune. But we also are refocusing the idea of something we wanted to do in retirement where we help others in need. One of the greatest ideas I’ve ever seen was Jen’s Holiday-In-A-Can. This is where we choose a holiday, find out how many kids will be in the hospital during that holiday and make age-appropriate gift cans and deliver them on that holiday. Spending a little time with the parents and let them know someone cares and is there for support. Maybe us moving here with Jen’s community-oriented efforts, will create a team of elderly to do this with us. Maybe the hospitality group she is a volunteer, could add finding out those that aren’t well in our own neighborhood and deliver care baskets or meals allowing them to focus on healing and not cooking. I do believe in the pay it forward notion that when you help someone, they, in turn will help someone else. Maybe a scholarship that we create for $5K a year to someone in need of education. So many of these go to fund graduating seniors, but is there one that supports a new single mother with a need to find a career, such as nursing, making them capable of supporting her and her kids? This usually comes via help from family, but Jen has first hand understanding of someone not being family and ensuring she could raise her children with all the same hopes as any parental pair. Could there be more of a tribute to her benefactor than paying our good fortune ahead to someone in the same need as her thirty years ago.

My lazy day and dreams of many lazy days ahead is also a time for the best self-reflection. It allow me to refocus my life and its purpose. I can realign my mind and heart to what makes me feel good about being who we are together. These lazy days are best for guiding the rest of our life and are great times for coming to a decision when we come to crossroads in our lives. These are truly those times that allow us to just breathe.