Down the Rabbit Hole

There are so many things we find ourselves chasing to improve our style of life, reward ourselves for hard work, some to show off, or for some the need for someone to look at what you’ve accomplished. The last two go along with my favorite book “The Millionaire Next Door”. In it there is the repeated term hyper-consumer referencing those that overspend for no other need but for the appearance. I think we all fit into to that at various times in our life, but still isn’t the lifestyle anyone would really want as you lay down at night and think about the debt hole, you’re really in. I like to believe we are doing what we do to reward and improve our lifestyle without any need of someone’s accolades or comments. I’m always amazed that those comments come with the underlying tone of guilt in that you are doing something other than what they feel you should be doing or you shouldn’t do anything they aren’t capable of doing themselves. Jen and I only answer to ourselves and we do things for us. Occasionally, we provide a gift to others in bringing them along for the ride, but that is out of love and not through some twisted opportunity to create envy. We all have rabbit holes, and we are all chasing something. The chase should be a dream for yourself and really shouldn’t involve anyone else.

For Jen and I, the rabbit hole is always about dreams. Not desires, but the dreams to be guilt-free, doubtless, and full of we did the right thing. We are involved in one of the largest rabbit holes we have taken on. It is already exceeding our remodel of the Colorado kitchen and family room. Although I’m reminding myself to just breathe, I’m mumbling under my breath as to whether we are doing the right thing. I keep coming back to the same conclusion, that this is for us, no one else, we have the means and that we should. We have been blessed with good fortune and are enjoying our life of reward for forty plus years of daily work grind and the remarkable remembrance from others. For Jen and I, most rabbit holes have come and gone. Some unnecessary, some with merit, even at times some that were truly important to follow, but none that ever lasted to the end. This one has that possibility. The thing is, we never chased the rabbit without keeping the tether tied to reality. That reality for us is not exceeding value in the money spent in the chase. We never went into a project without knowing the value on the backend and whether it was real or not. The project in Colorado involved building a kitchen and family room worthy of a two-million-dollar house, but existing in a house that was a quarter of that in value. We started off thinking we would stay in that house and that time would be our friend and the value would eventually catch up to what had been spent. Jen had retired, but I was still working and I was of the belief that I would work until I was sixty-two, allowing time to make up the cost through investments if the housing markets were slow on the climb. Two years later we make the decision for me to retire and to move to Texas and again, and low and behold, fortune shined on us again. The housing market was fast-accelerating and we recovered every bit of expenditure through our equity in the house. That is the time in which you stick head back out of the hole and realize the sun is shining and everything is good.

Move forward and create our life all over again was the focus. We are chasing the rabbit again, the rabbit this time is a life without extreme winter cold. A place where the esthetic beauty is in your yard and not something you are looking west to, ignoring the brown ugliness immediately around you. The daily exchange with the now last remaining parent. And finally, a real estate market that has allowed us to get more for less and afford us the enhancements we have desired. Again, we are watching the market climb as we sink more expense into our dream of what we see as the perfect lifestyle.  If you ever thought remodeling a house was unbelievable cost on the wallet, you should get a load of the labor-intensive fees surrounding outdoor lifestyle and landscaping. I catch my breath with every individual aspect of the project. The rabbit hole has really opened and we are chasing it seemingly blindly right now. I feel the Three-Card-Monty estimator no sooner calculates one part when he is re-directing us over here. For him, I’m sure the thought of vacations for the next ten years has been answered in giving these two I-want-it-all’s everything they desire. We seemingly don’t have a budget to him, but we do and although generous it does has a limit, but Jen and I also feel we are at the age of do it now or it will never be done. So, we are chasing pergola’s, pavilions, swim spa, flagstone walkways and patios, burn pit, waterfalls, and a clean slate on plants, flowers and borders. Something that would take us years to complete, will be done in four months. My daily grind of maintenance to the property will hopefully be reduced to the weekly mowing and weed eating and occasional tree trimming and stick recovery allowing for swimming, bike riding, camping, trips, boating, fishing and anything else that is the dream of retirement. The life we envisioned for ourselves years ago, we are now giving the old college try to finally make it come true. We are excited and I hope that excitement is met with value to investment, but not entirely, it is our time and we need to seize it and enjoy the life being built and we may just need to learn to get along with old mister rabbit and embrace him and invite him live with us and stop chasing him.

For every moment Jen and I have doubt, we have to ask ourselves, why not? For every instance of guilt that creeps in, we have to ask, what for? And for every time we ask ourselves whether we have achieved our dream, to remember it is not about achieving, it is about living it.