Remember When the Future Held Promise?

I was thinking today as I was holding the newest member of the Wilson family, our new baby granddaughter Marjorie Elma Jeanne. Mom and Dad are still working out that everyday name, but today was Jorie. I love it!! Me personally, I’m not as inspired by naming after someone else, but it is probably just because I was and I never liked my names. But, more importantly, our kids have seen it very important to honor those family members that have lived before them. Anyway, none of that had anything to do with why I’m writing, but was important to mention as a very proud Pop-Pop. More, I was thinking as I was holding Jorie about the future and the limitless possibilities that lie in front of her. Life is kind of like a funnel.

In the beginning, you have all the stuff of the world that we throw in the top, throttling enough for them to absorb. As the funnel is angled, there is less and less space for things to provide them. We tend to try to shape the info at this point based on what we think they are showing interest in and we tailor the info accordingly. By the time they are late teenagers and getting ready for the entry into a higher learning or maybe even have focused on some trade they find to their liking, the output of the funnel has narrowed so small that they feel very limited in what is a possibility. I wish we as parents never tried to figure out and direct our kids to something we think our kids would really excel at or even worse that the child is somehow filling in some inward longing of something we wanted in our life and then living vicariously through their child.

If we never funneled and instead just kept pouring and overflowing them with endless possibilities, can you imagine how happy kids would be as young adults letting them try anything and everything on for size? No limitations for cost of changing majors or following maybe a desire to use a welder and make glorious art. Who cares what it would be as long as they were happy and productive and maybe not living off the parent, lol. It is kind of overwhelming to think about how the family makeup would be with so many different professions and trades. If we all supported each other and told our other members how special they are and how great it is in whatever they have chosen in life. Of course, this doesn’t just apply to work, but also who they choose to love to include whatever orientation or complexity of self-discovery they have. It is limitless in what lies ahead for our young progeny.

I had the thought about the youth or better said the generations that come behind us seeming to find something in life that is a progression on the generation preceding them. The thing I learned from my kids is acceptance of others. In my early years and formidable years after, we made harsh judgements on people who were different. Maybe I didn’t learn all my lessons from them on acceptance. When I was in high school, there was a guy in my class named Wayne. Wayne spoke with a lisp, was more isolated from everything as opposed to the jocks and cool kids. I, embarrassingly, was one of those. But in my sophomore year, I was selected to go to Boys State for a week of learning politics, governmental structure, law formation, etc. that those in Congressional and other leadership roles from township to federal are comprised of and do to lead us. Wayne was also selected and we ended up being roommates in the dorm for the week. This started an unusual friendship that lasted for many years following high school. Long story short, what I discovered was is Wayne actually was deaf. He read lips and when he spoke, the lisp was a reflection of being taught to feel the words spoken. My girlfriend in high school and I once joined Wayne and his girlfriend, who by the way was drop dead gorgeous, and any thought about him being gay was gone. What my kids taught me later is, so what if he was gay, he is still a great person and deserves going through life without prejudices being forced at them, deprogramming, and any and all other stupid logic that is out there in the world.

Here I am holding this seven-pound bundle of limitless possibility today and it just struck me how perfect she is right now. No biases, no expectations, total dependence on us as parents to do the right thing. I want everything and that one thing that will make her happy, no not happy, but joyous throughout her life and that when she gets to my age, she will look back and thank all her influencers, under her breath, for never saying you can’t, but always you can and to go change the world!!